May-Assertiveness Skills

May- Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness skills are used to defend yourself in a respectful, non-violent manner. Being assertive is often referred to in reference to being bullied. Parents and teachers should teach these skills to young children so they are able to stand up for themself and make their feelings known if someone is picking on them. While this is a very good point it is not the only reason young children should learn assertiveness. At Don Earl we have an assertiveness group for students who may be shy or quiet all around. Our school social worker gives them the skills they need to find their voice within the daily activities of the classroom.

Some simple assertiveness skills to teach young children are keeping it cool, ignoring, and answering yes or no. Keeping it cool meaning teaching children about listening to their own emotions. If someone takes their toy away they may be angry at first. Teaching them to count to 5 and then politely ask the other child for their toy back. Ignoring, if another child is bothering them they can ignore the behavior by turning their body away from that child or walking away. Last, answering “yes” or “no”. This teaches children that just because another child ask for something they have, does not mean they have to share it. In preschool we put such an emphasis on sharing because young children are so egocentric but that does not mean they have to give up everything someone asks them for. So instead we teach them to answer “yes” or “no” that a friend can play with it, or in my classroom I like to teach them to say “not right now” or “when I am finished”. This allowing young students to share but also ensuring they have the time they want with a prefered item.

It is also important that young children know that if their voice is not being heard or their assertiveness skills are not working they can ask for adult support.